Step 2

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Hello everybody

Welcome to step 2 of our IVF treatment. Right now we’re growing follicles!

It is day 8 of injections and I am doing ok, better than I thought I would be by now so time for a little update.

Shaun and you, my lovely online friends, are doing a very good job at keeping me stable and positive. Allowing me to vent, not judging and asking just the right amount of questions, I truly am blessed so thank you all. Thank you for your good wishes, cards and kind comments too.

Day one of injections was very exciting indeed… I couldn’t wait to start, two injections per night, one for hormones, one for thinning blood, aspirin in the morning with lupus medication and vitamins.

Day one felt like such a huge event, we even wished each other good luck!

The hormone injection is the first one we do (I say we but really I do it whilst Shaun cooks dinner ;) ) everyday at 6.30 pm on the dot.

For me, this one is ok, the injection is relatively painless, the needle is very thin, it’s a pen that you twist to the right amount daily, in, out sorted.

The second one is the troublesome one. For some reason my blood thinners’ needles are so much thicker this time… I am covered in bruises and I absolutely dread it every night now. In fact I’ve started to cry like a girl when it’s time to do it… I am officially over the excitement of day one!

I’d say so far that the medication has made me a bit emotional, not as bad as I thought I might be by now, I have cried on a few of occasions for no reasons whatsoever and that is quite funny really. It’s all to be expected though so I am trying to keep that in mind, it’s not me, it’s hormones.

In terms of stress and anxiety, I have been the same as I usually am so no changes there, I have had a few walks to the shop for fresh air on my own which I usually wouldn’t be that keen on.

I’ve even stopped off at the post office, they are big supporters and lovely people; one of the guys there had IVF so he’s rooting for us and we always have a good chat. It’s lovely to talk to someone who has been there and was successful, sadly I don’t have many friends online who have been, it’s terrifying and very very sad. I don’t want to rub it in for them. I know what it’s like to wait through lack of money and to feel no hope. I would hate to make any of these people feel sad just because right now is my turn.

I have done my best to stay off google and the horror stories, I ring the clinic with my questions, it’s better for me. I’m very anxious that all the money we saved up is almost gone and that there is no guarantee.

I think the biggest side effect I have felt with the hormones is tiredness. I am good for nothing right now, stopping and starting crafts, not paying much attention to anything, it’s all a bit of a blur, could this be two years of non-stop work catching up with me as well? Maybe but the nurses told me today it is a common sign.

I also feel very bloated so quite uncomfortable but again this is normal, as things are growing inside I’m bound to feel it on the outside right?! I feel as big as a house… comfy Shaun’s tracksuit pants it is for me!

After 5 days of injections we had an appointment for our first scan, that was Monday this week.

This is an internal scan (meh..) where the nurses check on how your “follicles” are growing. The scan is pretty straight forward and they show you on the screen when they are doing it.

As per the scan I had a few months back, I still have a cyst on one of my ovaries and after this scan it got quite sore. The nurse told me that perhaps it was disturbed during and this may have caused the pain. Anyway, all I can take is paracetamol and trust me that didn’t help, I spent Monday afternoon trying to sleep the pain off.

It’s strange because the nurses see you in the morning and tell you that everything is ok, but then you get a call in the afternoon (well I do) after the doctor has reviewed your scans and an update on what you’re doing.

After the first scan I got a call in the afternoon to say I should start a new injection on Wednesday morning. I ask why and they said, “it’s normal” of course I freaked out.

Why would they say I’m ok one minute and then change the next? They didn’t come forward with any explanation either.

These scans happen every two days after that so yesterday was number two.

We were told that we are looking for at least three follicles to get to a certain size and then ovulation will be triggered. Egg launch!

I’m happy to report that the scan was ok, everything is progressing as it should. The nurses intimated that we could be ready for the next step, that’s the Easter egg hunt, by next Wednesday. But one step at a time.

I asked them why they called in the afternoon and they explained about the doctor reviewing your notes. OK.

After getting home from the scan, I had my new injection…the third one. This is to keep my ovaries under control so that the follicles can grows steadily for now. This has to be done in morning and the needle is ok, not as big as the blood one but perhaps not as thin as the hormones. It didn’t hurt too much so only one to dread per day.

Guess what, another phone call yesterday afternoon. Clinic alert!

This time I was told that I had to increase my hormone intake… so I asked why? “It’s normal”… I mean really, for the money this is costing, I expect a little bit more explanation and a little bit less “stop asking questions” attitude!

I know they run a business and they’re not that particularly bothered about how you feel but still. Grrr!

I told Shaun and he really wasn’t happy so he rang them, I googled and of course, lots of negative posts about how huge this amount of hormones is and how people are being sick, failing and it’s not normal and blah blah blah… Turn it off Steph!!! Eventually I got a call back from the actual doctor, she didn’t seem too happy about me interrupting her day with my silly questions, but I don’t care, and in her casual way, she explained why this is happening. It’s not because it’s all going wrong and it does make sense. It’s about compensating for the third injection which is suppressing ovulation… Complicated? Tell me about it.

I really feel that as this could be my only chance, I need to be informed all the way, no fobbing off and no attitude about me asking questions, surely it’s my right to know. I’m a customer and I expect some customer service. Don’t get me wrong, the nurses are lovely, but clearly not the experts, and the experts are busy. That isn’t my problem right now, I am pumped with hormones and trying not to turn into a purple minion so please, just answer my questions nicely!

So, this is where we are today, day 8:

1 consultation, 15 injections, 3 scans, £5465 to the clinic so far and £797.13 to Asda for medication, that’s £6261.13, 626 Cuties later.

This is the cost of IVF so far but apparently I shouldn’t ask too many questions… I still need to buy more medication, and please, you know I’m not bragging, I’m #justsaying as they say, I’m actually crying and it’s not for nothing this time.

Right, it’s time for more injections… hoping I can stay yellow for another day ;)

I’ll be back to update you when I can, in the meantime, thank you for your fabulous support and keep everything crossed please!

Lots of love

PS: Could I please ask anyone to refrain from telling me that you “struggled with infertility until you had X amount of children naturally so you know how I feel” it isn’t helpful and it’s completely untrue. Remember the purple minion… Thank you ;)