Day 1

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Hello everyone, it’s been a while! We hope you all had good Christmas. Happy end of what’s been a pretty shaky year!

I’m really hoping that 2017 is going to be a little bit happier for everyone, in the words of Mary J, no more dramas please.

As well as a lot of the sadness all around the world in the last 12 months, we’ve also lost some pretty big icons in 2017.

I was extremely saddened by the news of George Michael’s passing on Christmas day, he was my first crush and his music was the theme tune to my teens. Things are changing all around us and I hope for a more settled new year.

This New Year marks the start of a new chapter in our lives, finally it’s time for our first IVF cycle, at last.

Today was day one!

It’s our time and not too soon, it’s been two years since I started on Facebook, I remember it well, it was undoubtedly one of the hardest times of my life. I’d just been through a bad case of medical negligence, three operations, few and far between friends and I’d just started the Cuties, it was a big flop and my depression was in full flow.

I’m so glad I pushed through and carried on despite the sleepless nights, the anxieties and the tears, you have been my saviours and thanks to you all, we’re there.

Most of you know the story, it’s been a rollercoaster, all the people who thought I was crazy with my Cuties stories and my old “besties” have pretty much disappeared, Dotty is definitely a hit and finally, after 24 long months of struggle, hard work and fantastic support, we had our first treatment today.

Mentally I am holding up and I am feeling okay at the moment, Christmas is always a hard time for us but once again and thanks to my lovely Shaun, we’ve made it through without too much heartache. I have good and bad days of course but I think we have found a way to cope for now.

So for day one, we went to the clinic for an “add on” procedure. It’s called an Endometrial Scratch. It’s not a guarantee as nothing is of course but we have been told that this could help with embryo implantation, so as we may only get one trial, we’re giving it everything we have.

I don’t know if any of you saw the TV program recently on IVF “add-ons”, clinics are selling all sorts of procedures which they say will increase your chances. Most of which have not been proven but sadly, when you depend on medicine to have a child, desperation makes you want to try it all. I’m glad I saw the program as to us money is a big issue and I was sort of feeling like I was missing out by being unable to pay for some of these add-ons.

The program did highlight certain costly procedures which were completely unnecessary and just in place to make money. This is only my conclusion of course so if any of you have had these procedures and it has helped, then I am very glad for you.

I have spoken at length to my Lupus specialist and my Rheumatologist and both think that this “endometrial scratch” may help based on my antiphospholipid syndrom. So we did it!

It was relatively quick, about 20 mins, I was told to take paracetamol an hour before and I was given 4 antibiotics afterwards to avoid infections.

The procedure itself was a little uncomfortable and it has been a little sore throughout the day but painkillers have helped. The massive dose of antibiotics however has made me feel seasick all day!

Because I know that this is going to be a complicated and emotional process I have decided to take Shaun’s lead, we are taking it step by step. So this was step one, tick!

Step two will start in approximately ten days, injection times. Two a day to be precise and scans. Our next step is to try produce eggs…good ones if possible, well that’s down to me.

This is when things get complicated and when risks start, I’m quite scared of the blood issues if I’m honest so I will be relying on the clinic and my consultants to support me and monitor things as closely as they can. The last time I took aspirin I was covered in bruises so I’m hoping this doesn’t happen again.

I will be injecting blood thinners every morning as well as taking baby aspirin and at night I will take the hormone treatment, another injection. The one thing I have on my side is that needles don’t scare me, I have injected blood thinner following my previous operations and it was ok… (she says).

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little worried about the effect that the hormone treatment will have on my mental health but as I am not going through the “down regulation” stage which is a little bit like being put in a menopausal state, the nurse today told me that most women just feel tired when taking the treatment I will be taking.

I’m having what they call a “flare cycle”. Apparently, this is down to my age and the fact that I have a good reserve of eggs. I have to trust in their expertise.

Saying that the nurse isn’t really aware of my depression and anxiety, I suppose it’s not really their remit. So Shaun, brace yourself!

To make it easy for us, the nurse has said that for now all I need to do is call the clinic on day one of my next cycle to book a scan which should happen on day 5. On day two of my cycle I will start the injections.

The scans are there to monitor the progress of the “egg growing” you will have to excuse my basic language on this because I’m not a doctor or a specialist, but for those of you planning on going through the process or for those of you who don’t know, I’m going to be as plain as I can, I’ll be me, I can’t guarantee that I will manage to blog throughout obviously but I will try to keep you updated.

After the first scan, I should be having a scan every couple of days. And for now this is as far as I have planned.

We have a prescription for our drugs which we are going to buy from Asda. For those of you embarking on the journey, it’s worth ringing your local Asda as they are selling IVF medication on a no profit basis, these are significantly cheaper than they are at the clinic who was happy to give us a prescription for free.

I’m sure that things are going to get complicated at some point but for now, that’s all I am focusing on as well as hoping that my bloods will behave and that I won’t end up black and blue with a drop in my platelets!

So, it’s time for some positivity, lots of it, we’ve already had a massive response on Facebook and Instagram today, love coming from all angles, what a difference two years have made, Thank you!

As for madebysteffieb, after finally taking a few wonderful and needed days off I’m planning to start back again in the new year, I’m going to need something to keep my mind occupied with all these hormones flying around! In fact I’ve been making Valentine Cuties, ladies, get your men on Etsy, and single ladies, treat yourself to the best friend you’ll ever have!

Thank you SO much, to everyone who has ever adopted a Cutie, all our sharers, all our lovely friends, the people who keep me going day after day, to you who have never given up on me and still stand by my side today. We wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you all and I really hope I don’t disappoint you, it’s about time something good happened.

I wish you all a Happy New Year and may all your dreams come true in 2017, good health and lots of love all around. Cross your fingers and your toes please.

A very humble thank you from the bottom of my heart,