Dear faceless troll


Dear faceless troll,

Thank you for your messages.

Although I am taking a few days off to grieve and allow my body to recuperate (take my word for it, this is a really tough process), I feel I should reply to your comments, which you attempted to post on my website last week and earlier today. 

It would be a shame not to share it (I am a great believer in freedom of speech) but, as your email is fake, I have decided not to post it on my blog, instead I have chosen to dedicate a whole post to people like you, just so everyone can enjoy your inarticulacy and your arrogance. I have come out of my cave just for you!

You start by mentioning being the adult.  Did you know that adults own their opinions and use their real names and email addresses in discussions?   I truly hope that you are better at teaching your children the values of life and humanity.

Real adults don’t troll, your email was fake, hence why I didn’t approve your new comment on my website because I couldn’t reply to you directly. Just like last week, only your IP address is the same…

You clearly haven’t read my full story.

I haven’t saved for seven years and I have worked for most of my adult life. In fact I’ve had a great career, I speak two languages, I moved to the UK from a different country at the age of 19, I’ve travelled around the world and now I own my own business.  What do you do?
Yes, that’s right I run a business contrary to your comment about me not working. Every day I make my stock, undertake marketing, dispatch orders, deliver customer service and complete my admin – just like any other small business. Do not patronise me because I call this work “fundraising”.  I work as hard as anyone else, I just simply have a cause rather than a profit line to motivate me.

And anyway, not everyone is about money, despite needing it desperately, but let me tell you that IF I had job on the outside, I wouldn’t be on the average salary you are offering me, you clearly underestimate me!

I enjoy working for myself as it gives me the flexibility I need to manage my complicated health issues, whilst still feeling like I am helping myself.

I may not have saved as quickly as I could have working for someone else, however starting my own business has allowed me to meet a lot of amazing people, gather a lot of support, raise awareness about infertility.  Then there’s you, little old you and your fake emails, you, the adult.  You don’t really matter in the scheme of things.

Perhaps you didn’t want children badly enough that it broke your heart because clearly it didn’t teach you empathy nor did it give you any compassion for anyone struggling with infertility or probably anything else.

Adoption isn’t available for everyone, it’s also a personal choice but clearly you don’t respect other people’s choices or opinions and you think you know best.  What advice would you offer someone who has tried IVF 7 times? 

Shaun is a free man, he chooses where he wants to be, you don’t know us or our relationship so before you tell me to smell the roses, perhaps we have a big garden full of them. Did you ever stop to think that perhaps he wants a child as much as me?

We have a very loving relationship and we support each other which means that I have been able to turn a hobby which is also a therapy into a successful small business and no, I am not obsessed, WE are chasing our dream. It’s not dead at all but I am sorry that yours is.

Clearly the fact that you weren’t given the choice to try for your own children has made you bitter and now you feel that you can judge anyone who wants to try.

Kicking someone on the day they get final confirmation of a failed cycle of IVF is the definition of trolling, if you see yourself as some kind of guru you have failed epically.

Our IVF is paid for, we have no debts and we worked hard for it, so if you don’t like what I have to say then don’t read, your comments will no longer be published or acknowledged unless you say who you are, Georgia one day, Michelle the next… I just call you troll.

Actually, things are so tough right now that I have been struggling to think about having another go, but you’ve made my mind up.

There is nothing like someone with no dreams or ambitions to make you want to fight for yours.

I will be back to madebysteffieb soon and I will get another go and maybe more and one day I might even have a baby.  In any case I would have tried and I definitely won’t be bitter like you.

I nearly fell for your stupidity, I even had to check with a few friends, but then I realised, I know who I am, I don’t hide in my cave, I just have feelings and right now they are hurt.

I’m not sulking, I’m heartbroken following a rigorous medical procedure and a huge disappointment, clearly, it was easier for you.

You might think that it’s easy to speak up the way I do, not that I deserve a medal, but I know that I’m helping a few people, too scared to speak up, possibly because of people like you. 

I’m not going to stop because one out of 500 people who happen to read my blog decides to send one, bitter, stupid misinformed message.

I have to thank you, for making my mind up and for helping me today of all days, I am more determined than ever.  If you thought you were going to break me, you failed.  And if you were thinking your comments were helpful and “tough love” they weren’t.

I’m sorry that you had no hope, but I still do so I’m not giving up, I truly hope you are happy.

And just before I go, it’s not knitting it’s crochet!

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